Oh Well

We’ve been living in chaos.  Our life hasn’t been torn up – it was our house.  And it’s amazing what some home remodeling will do to knock me me off-kilter.

The place where I sit to do my spiritual workout in the morning was no longer available.  So I barely meditated/prayed.

There was plastic up on every doorway leading into our living room and drywall dust everywhere so I didn’t feel like cooking for nearly three weeks and so we ate out more than usual.

Our basement also was a victim of the dust and rubble and my treadmill was tarped over to keep it clean and so I didn’t run for three weeks.

I didn’t walk the dog.

I didn’t read.

I was edgy.  I was tired.  I was anxious.

It wasn’t just our house. I was in chaos.

I re-read a text I sent to a friend and after I read it a few times I thought: “Man, I’m being a whiny bitch!”  And I gave him permission to tell me that next time.

Does this ever happen to you?  Does chaos knock you off your routine?  Does it get in your head and cause you to stop being who you want to be?

It’s amazing what so drywall dust and plastic sheeting does to me. I’m a bit embarrassed. 

I’m still not sure how to be different in the midst of that chaos. I know a few things, but obviously I didn’t do them. The only way I know how to handle that is when the chaos is over, you just start back at square one.  “Oh well” isn’t waving the white flag, it’s not letting failure get to me and smother me with shame. 

Maybe “oh well” is the way to handle it.